Stop Comparing Your Financial Life to Everyone Else’s

The question I get more than almost any other, in some form or another, is “How am I doing compared to everyone else?”

It’s a natural thing to wonder. But I’ve come to believe it’s one of the least useful questions you can ask about your money.

Here’s why: no two families are chasing the same life. One couple wants to pay for every grandchild’s college education because that’s what was done for them. Another worked their way through school and wants their kids to have some skin in the game too. Some households live comfortably on $8,000 a month. Others need $28,000 to feel the same way. None of that is right or wrong — it’s just different, because your calling is different.

So if your neighbor’s portfolio, spending, or retirement age doesn’t match yours, that’s not a red flag. It might just mean you’re building a life around what actually matters to you instead of what matters to them.

I love how financial writer Carl Richards puts it: he keeps what he calls a “Statement of Financial Purpose” — one sentence describing what his money is actually for. His is something like, “Time with my family, mostly outside, and serving in my community and church.” No dollar figures. No dates. Just a filter for every financial decision that follows.

Scripture points us in the same direction. Paul writes in Philippians 4:11 that he “learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Contentment isn’t about having less ambition — it’s about measuring your life against your purpose instead of your peer group.

So here’s my challenge for you this week: instead of asking how you’re doing compared to everyone else, try writing one sentence describing what your money is actually for. You might be surprised how much clarity it brings to your next financial decision — and how much peace it brings to your present one.

If you’d like help putting that sentence into an actual plan, that’s exactly the kind of conversation I love having. Reach out anytime.